Woah Nelly!

Dastardly Dave sent me the rest of the shots from a set we did for Zivity.

I had completely forgotten it existed, despite the fact that one of the images is the header for this page. OOPS.

They are hawt, to say the least. Yeah, hawt.

It’s so weird seeing myself with hair.

I’ve totally settled into this whole baldness thing.

That being said, it has been grown out and sculpted a bit. No scalp in sight.

I’m really not looking forward to having to wear hats this winter. They make me so claustrophobic!

I hate to keep cryptically updating about my job, BUT things are going SO WELL.
It’s not the tea place any more.. just in case I never mentioned that.

My last day at tea place is this Wednesday, actually.

I’ll have THREE WHOLE DAYS off that week! Apple picking, here I come. Can you believe that the leaves around here are already changing?!

Anyway, I got promoted (or will be getting promoted at the end of the holiday season) at the awesome job. It’s the most fun and rewarding job I’ve ever had.

I’ll be flown out to California at the end of my training as Manager in Training to work in a store out there for a little while, and then assuming all goes well, I’ll be coming back to my own store.

Everything is working out so well that I’m a little bit apprehensive.

I have worked hard though, so I’m trying to make myself believe that the good things might actually stay good.

On the kind of sort of downside, and when I say downside, I mean I’m just a bit confused, I’ve found out something about myself.

I like guys who look like lesbians, and I like lesbians who look like lesbians.

I lose interest in guys at the drop of a hat.

What does that say about me?

Hm?

Feet?!

Work has been taking over my  life, but in a very good way. I have so much to say, that I have no idea where to start.

Everything is coming together, and I’m terrified of jynxing it by blathering on about it.

I am getting more work on my sleeve in mid-October.. it’s been a year since we started this thing.

I totally have tattoo ADD. Half of my work is unfinished. Unacceptable!!

On to the good stuff:

This is my first and only shoot with no hair.

Collin J. Rae (server-x.org) does fantastic work.. these shots make me love my feet so much!!

If anyone yells at me for smoking, I WILL MURDER THEM.

If anything made me not want to smoke ever again, it’s this shoot.

Chainsmoking half a pack faster than you can breath apparently makes that sundried tomato, goat cheese, and broccolini pasta dish you ate earlier come up in the form of pale pink guck. From that point onward, I have been unable to tolerate even the smell of any tobacco product.

So Collin, thank you not only for a fabulous time and a ton of great photos, but for helping me kick my tobacco habit once and for all!

<3

Happy Hippo

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this good.
I am more or less drug/alcohol/caffeine/meat/nicotine free. This is literally the first time ever I didn’t have some ridiculous vice.

Well..

These are totally addicting. So easy to make, and even easier to eat. Best molasses cookies OF ALL TIME! I have been making double and triple recipes to make up for the demand in my house.

Anyway, that doesn’t really count. I just wanted to show off my pretty cookies.

I do drink every once in a blue moon (no, not the beer), and when I do, I tend to go overboard (AHEM Toronto), but considering it’s once every 4ish months, I’m not too bummed about it.

And I do consume a small amount of caffeine, but from tea only. The last time I had coffee was aaages ago. Never thought I’d be able to say that!

I’m also actually hydrated for the first time in.. ever. I drink so much tea, it’s gross.

What I’m getting to is a horrible story about a photo shoot I had the other night.

I went to meet Collin J. Rae at a hotel in Rhode Island to take some pictures of my feets.

He wanted to get some shots of me smoking, and in order to get the smoke curls to look awesome required manyyy shots. I had to chain smoke I don’t even know how many cigarettes with barely time to take a breath between deep inhalations. I got the worst nicotine rush of my life, and I can only hope the rest of the shoot went well.. On the hour and a half drive home I had to pull over multiple times to puke my brains out. I have NEVER thrown up so much in my life. When I got home (with a full fledged migraine) I drank half a glass of water and proceeded to throw that up as well.. complete with streams coming out of both nostrils.

Based on Collin’s other work, I KNOW we’ll get some kick ass shots out of it, but man, am I ever drained.

So yeah, my body HATESHATESHATES toxins. I don’t know if I ever could have handled that many cigarettes in such quick succession, but I do have a sneaking suspicion that it was even worse given how pristine my inner parts have become :]

I can’t seem to think of a good excuse to post this picture by Kurt Von Stetten other than that I like it

It’s weird seeing all these pictures of me with long hair.

I’m so happy with my shorn locks that I can’t imagine anything else!

New beginnings! Hurray!

NIX

Soo I took an endless bus up to Toronto to go to  Northern Ink Xposure with Gods Girls.

It was pretty awesome.

Instead of recapping three whole days, here are some pictures!

Me and the lovely Maga at the GG booth. Steam is hiding in the background!

Alice aka Love Of My Life. I’ve e-known her for 5+ years now.. craaazy to finally meet her!!

Look at my hair. See how long it is. Now look at Paul Booth’s hair. I lose. Bigtime. Now  even more so.. with my 1/4″ of hair!

After party hosted by Jaegermeister in the Skyy lounge. I think. I get confused about what is named after what alcohol.

Madie and Swindle are the prettiest everr. I on the other hand am smaaashed and awkward looking :[

I’m not entirely sure I know what we were posing for.. Hmm.

There were like 20,000 of these, but I’ll spare you.. just two!!

Alice, Jaiden, and MEEE. I just looked up Jaiden’s set on Gods Girls because I hadn’t seen it for some reason, and DAMN. Go check it out!

Only my favorite picture ever! Alice (my girl friend) and Swindle (my wife).

There has been talk of an Iron Maiden wedding.

As the groom, I’m allowed to wear sneakers..

Specifically these ones. Yeah, they have pyramids on the side. No big deal.

That’s it for now! I have to get up early for work.. still not used to it. Perhaps I never will be.

P.S. That picture of me + best sneakers ever is by Tommy Von. There are more from the shoot, but I can’t download the .zip file he sent me because my stupid computer is FUCKED beyond belief :’[

Buzz

My hair is gone. I feel like everything is back to normal. I could not possibly be happier with this decision. It sounds strang to say, but all that hair was weighing me down. Physically and mentally. Constantly hiding my ears with my hair all the time felt like I was lying. I’m not into the whole mohawk/crazy colors thing anymore, I’m just into feeling the wind and water on my scalp. All is well with the world.

In other news, I now have something other than my ears to show off with my lack of fur.

I have a heavy camera, and taking pictures of the back of my neck proved too difficult to do in one shot. So there you have it.

It’s a chambered nautilus. If you don’t know what that is, google is your friend, not me.

Randy from Time Will Tell up in Canada somewhere made it at NIX (Northern Ink Xposure).

There are pictures from that, but I’m too hot and tired to bother. I’ve begged for summer, and now I can’t take the heat.

Oh yeah, and that definitely is a rat tail.

It was a joke… and now I love it. Somebody rescue me.

That yellow shirt is a Michael Jackson shirt.

Goodnight.

Ropes

These are from one of the aforementioned shoots.

Haz H made the lovely photos.

I have nothing exciting to report, so I’ll leave you with that :]

Tea!

My brother took this some time during the winter and I just found it again while lurking his flickr. I like.

I started my new job, and it’s been wonderful.

All the tea I can drink! I drank 6 cups (96oz, guyz) on my second shift.

I have been drinking so much tea at home as well. The switch to vegetarianism plus the switch from coffee to ASSLOADS of tea is really paying off, I think. I feel a lot better, although I did have a rough patch at first.

Plus, I’m learning so much about the health benefits of tea and its history. I feel like I’m in high school again.. I’ve been studying with color coded flash cards. Seriously.

In other news, I had a really awesome shoot today, and I CAN NOT WAIT to get the images back.

Lamé is my new favorite thing.

I guess the point of this entry is that I’m really grateful to be working again, and even more grateful that it’s doing something I really enjoy.

Big update!

On the left is (was) my ‘85 Pontiac  Sunbird Wagon. My first car. I got it for free, and it lasted well over a year, with minimal repairs. I finally had to get rid of it, which was pretty hard. I hate change, and I hate loss, even if it’s something as silly as a car. The one on the right is my new car. Some fucknut already dented the right side of it with a shopping cart or something. Not cool.

That thing in the front with the pink collar is one of my dogs. Betsy/Bitsy/Bitchy/Joey. They’re all interchangable. She doesn’t respond to anything.

There it is in all its glory.

The keys are so old that a) they look like house keys b) two are required: one for ignition, one for locks.

Getting one of those beepy things with my new car was a revelation.

Strawberry shortcake is the best way to console oneself. Ohh. my. god.

I also made a ginger loaf cake with chunks of candied ginger that had been soaked in Grand Marnier.

Frickin delicious. Look at that crust. Look at it.

I eated it. I swear to you, I am not always this much of a fatty. Only usually.

I shot with Scott Evans this week. He makes my body look amazing.

Garden!

This is my garden. And yes, I mean just what’s in the pot. You gotta start small, right?

How precious.

So what are they, you ask?

This is a “Sup, chili?” I’m pretty sure it’s actually a “super long chili” but I’ve been known to be wrong from time to time.

Mmm cayenne.

Don’t ask me why this one is already ginormous. I don’t know.

I am so excited to have a super spicy summer.

I am thinking of taking over the garden I started at my dad’s when I lived there, but I’m not sure I trust him to water it when  I’m not around.. so for now I’ll stick to my sup chili in  a pot.

Ohhh the horrors of gardening. I should’ve taken a picture of my filthy feetz. I had to scrub them with a pumice stone for a good 7 minutes each in the shower. The dirt was seriously ground in there.

Don’t worry too much, though.
I rewarded myself with:

Peppermint Stick ALWAYS AND FOREVER

Fuck 2006

This is my favorite picture and I don’t know why.

I spent the last few hours reading through my old MySpace messages. I’ve never deleted a single one so this was a monumental task. Needless to say I only read the important ones.

I came to two conclusions:

One: There is an insane number of pedophiles on MySpace, and I did an insane job of perpetuating that.

Two: I did some really fucked up things, and I hurt a lot of people really fucking badly. Why any of them have forgiven me is beyond me.

Unless people are harboring extremely well hidden resentment, I think all of them have. While my outlook on humanity remains grim, this was heartening.. but only half way.

It kills me to see what I did. It kills me to hear what I said.

How is it possible to change so much in so few years?

Am I fucking rotten?

I like to think I’m comfortable with myself, but will I be appalled when I look back at the me of 2009?

People never stop growing, I know that, but I’m terrified that I’m not growing quickly enough.

I can honestly say that I am a “better” person that I was in 2006. That doesn’t make me good. Not by a long shot. I don’t feel redemption is possible, but I’d love a chance. In what form it would be I’ll probably never know.

I’d love to sit each of these people down and explain to them that that isn’t me. I hope they know. I hope it’s clear by my actions, but who knows?

I’m rambling now, and I’m to tired for it to come out straight.. This sounds a lot more depressed than it should. I’m just doing a lot of thinking..  I just need to get it out, although this is just the tip of the iceberg. I’d love to spill every detail but I don’t know where that would get me. If I’m going to go to all that trouble it may as well be directly to the parties involved.

Goodnight..